The Wal-Mart of Circuses

I can finally talk about it.

My daughter, Cayce, had her 8th birthday on February 26th. We are one of those every other year families. We have two children and they get to have a "big" birthday party every other year. (Last year, Cayce had a swimming party at the 'Y' with 20 crazy 2nd graders). On the off year, we do something special as a family and they get to invite one friend.

Well, this was Cayce's "off year". We came up with several options for a family activity, but it just so happened that the circus was in town on her birthday. So that is what she picked. And, man, was she excited. She and Kyle talked and talked and talked about what they would see at the circus. They raved about clowns, lions, tigers, elephants, trapeze acrobats, crazed men being shot out of a cannon and much, much more. So we had a plan. The Pattersons were off to the circus.

At least that is what they called it.

I should have looked to see which circus was in town. I thought they were all just like Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Bailey. I. Was. Wrong. The Pattersons (along with a "lucky" friend of Cayce's) were in store for the 2 p.m. performance of Circus Gatti. Gatti? Like Mr. Gatti's. Oh, if only that were true! It might have actually been fun.

Let me describe Circus Gatti. It is the Wal-Mart of circuses. Even worse it is the K-Mart of circuses. Maybe even the Bealls or Dollar General of Circuses. There are so many analogies. First, there was the ringmaster who had proudly proclaimed this his "29th year of hosting Circus Gatti". He was probably only 42 years old. They stole him from home at age 13. I know these things. His voice rang throughout Taylor County Coliseum selling wares of the circus: Alien Balloons, Light-up toys, $5 Elephant, Pony or Inflatable slide rides, and $5 Face Painting. This man made me sick. The ultimate in cheesy.

Then there were the clowns. Wait...did I type an "s" there? I meant clown. Yep. One Clown. One terrible, not-funny clown. I thought a circus was to have many clowns to actually be called a "circus".

Finally, we have the animal act. No...not animal acts...animal act. Yep, one act with three elephants that have been with the circus for 107 years. They were doing the same tricks with the "I could stomp on this guy and never have to do this again...Nah, maybe tomorrow" look on their faces. The rest of the circus acts contained a combination of the same performers just dressed in different handmade "satin" costumes. All the while recorded music with a live drummer played in the background. I needed a shower.

And, oh, the money they made. 17 bucks a head to get in. $5 to go down an inflatable slide. $15 for a light up toy that will die tomorrow. I told Jennifer that we are in the wrong line of work. Circus Gatti can't be that expensive to run. You have 10 people and some various barn animals to take care of. They must make profit like you wouldn't believe.

But, here is the funny part. MY KIDS LOVED IT! I wish I were a kid again. Simple things make you happy. Three half dead elephants and a single, bad clown make for an afternoon of rousing entertainment. I was so happy for them and we had a great time laughing at the circus performers (not with them). It was a great day. Cayce was on top of the world. Kyle, while slightly creeped out at the clown, has a blast. I can't wait for them to see a real circus.

Maybe it will have clown(s).